


Venus

by DemelzaTheMer



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Eye Trauma, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not childhood friends au, pet photographer au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemelzaTheMer/pseuds/DemelzaTheMer
Summary: The man who'd appeared in front of Jumin made him feel things he'd never felt before. He yearns to get closer to him, to solve the mystery of these emotions.But loving V is not an easy task. As much as he is charming he is secretive, and the weight of those secrets threaten to destroy everything for good.
Relationships: Han Jumin/V | Kim Jihyun
Comments: 28
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _The night sky once ruled my imagination_   
>  _Now I turn the dials with careful calculation_

Jumin Han didn’t have time for this.

He’d reserved two hours of his morning for this photoshoot, but things weren’t going at all like he’d planned. They simply needed Elizabeth the 3rd’s picture taken to promote C&R’s newly launched cat food line, but the amateurs he was working with were hopeless.

It wasn’t Elizabeth the 3rd’s fault by any means if the photographer wasn’t able to hold her attention. She was flawless as always, the photographer was incompetent when he failed to please her.

The first one had even had the nerve to raise his voice to her. Naturally he was fired on the spot. The second one was lacking as well, and Elizabeth the 3rd wandered off the set when she lost interest.

Jumin picked her up when she walked up to him to push her head against his leg.

This has never happened with Jumin’s trusted photographer, Rui. Unfortunately he wasn’t available for now. He was off the country for several weeks doing some kind of project.

Rui had taken all of Elizabeth the 3rd's pictures before and without any problems. Jumin had probably gotten too used to things going smoothly and had high expectations.

Now he understood that his Elizabeth was actually quite a picky lady when it came to photographers. Jumin couldn’t blame her, he knew he preferred to work with some people over the others, too.

The shooting was called off but the problem persisted. Jumin thought of ordering assistant Kang to pick him the best qualified animal photographer, but in the end decided he needed a totally new approach. It was harder to find a personality Elizabeth the 3rd accepted than someone with a good CV.

Jumin couldn’t focus on his company work when he was mulling over the dilemma. The most important matters had to be taken care of first.

Finally he found a business card Rui had left behind as a recommendation.

His name was Jihyun Kim, but he worked under an alias “V”. He was a son of one of C&R's trusted business partners in the art field, but wasn't a businessman himself.

V was an artist who did commercial photoshoots as a side hobby. Usually Jumin didn't do business with artists but he was out of options. Rui had a good insight of people, maybe this guy would pull it off.

Without wasting any more time, Jumin asked assistant Kang to reach out to the man. A shoot was arranged for evening, so Jumin could attend it after he was done with work. In practice that meant at 10 pm. It was barely business hours anymore, so he wondered if V would decline.

Jumin was sorry for Elizabeth the 3rd, too. She never had two shootings the same day. Jumin hoped it wouldn’t stress her out too much.

The first good sign was that V was able to show up on such a short notice.

Jumin waited on the set with his team of assistants and Elizabeth the 3rd in his arms when the door opened right at the appointed time.

What was not as impressive as his punctuality was his appearance. The man really looked like an artist more than an entrepreneur. He was wearing a shabby grey cardigan that was so loose it covered his knuckles and reached his knees.

Jumin had low expectations for the guy but high expectations for the results at the same time.

V approached him first. When he looked at him, Jumin found himself staring into beautiful, pale-colored eyes. Much like his hair, they were not quite blue nor green, but a shade of mint, something Jumin hadn't seen before.

When they shook hands V smiled heartily, without being taken aback by Jumin’s cold demeanor.

“Is this the star of the day? Good evening to you, too,” V greeted the cat on Jumin’s shoulder.

“What’s their name?” he asked the owner.

“Elizabeth the 3rd,” Jumin answered without looking away from the man’s face.

He had cool but somehow soft air around him. V was lacking the ego and confidence freelance photographers often presented themselves with.

Jumin could feel his nerves calming down a bit. Maybe this shooting wouldn’t end up a catastrophe like the one in the morning.

“Hello, Elizabeth the 3rd. It’s nice to meet you,” V smiled.

“Would you mind letting her down? You can tell me your visions regarding the picture while we get to know each other better,” he proposed.

V’s methods were different from the other photographers as well. Jumin was interested to see if he’d make a difference in results.

He lowered Elizabeth and she jumped on the floor with utmost grace. Jumin took a seat close by and watched with peaked curiosity when V sat cross-legged on the floor and reached his hand for Elizabeth to sniff.

It was common for new photographers to be boasting about their achievements but during their talk V hadn’t mentioned his previous works once. He seemed equally uninterested in Jumin’s money or status as a company director.

Jumin had expected to be answering all kinds of queries relating to future work opportunities but he was mostly left alone when V was on the floor befriending Elizabeth the 3rd. It made him feel a bit weird but he actually liked this more. Finally someone gave his lady the respect she deserved.

Elizabeth was happy to be appreciated. She behaved like a dream, posing patiently for the camera. The only times she left the set were when she wandered back to V to rub herself all over his ugly cardigan.

V laughed softly and picked her up to put her back where he wanted her. Jumin watched in amazement when she plopped down on her back and exposed her fluffy tummy for V to pet. She never let anyone but Jumin do that.

After a while V had taken dozens of good shots that perfectly emphasised Elizabeth the 3rd’s beautiful features. It would be hard to pick just one from those, but that was an opposite of a problem. Jumin was satisfied, which he hadn’t thought he’d be.

When V was packing up his equipment Jumin apologized again for the late timing.

“It’s okay,” V waved his hand. “I think a bit late is a perfect time for this kind of shoot. Cats are nocturnal, so Elizabeth the 3rd is more energized and focused now compared to the morning.”

V stood up and lifted his camera case to his shoulder. The cat in question was still pushing herself against his legs and meowing. Jumin scooped her up in his arms.

“I think cats are magnificent creatures,” V said.

He reached his free hand to stroke Elizabeth's head. Jumin could feel her purring.

“They are independent. They respect you if you respect them.” V raised his eyes to gaze into Jumin’s. “She’s a personality. You’re lucky she’s chosen to be yours.”

“I know,” Jumin said.

He was rewarded with V’s lips curling into one radiant smile.

“I think she suits you very well, Mr. Han,” he said.

When he smiled his eyes glimmered in the low light. Jumin found himself wondering what he should do to see it again.

V left him a business card and was on his way. Jumin kept it in his breast pocket and returned to his penthouse with Elizabeth the 3rd for the night.

During the week Jumin couldn’t stop thinking about V.

He was distracted from work, which never happened. On break he picked out V's card and fiddled with it, deep in thought.

He wasn’t sure what it was that had caught his interest. Maybe it was the excellent way V was able to handle his princess. Maybe it was the look in those mint-colored eyes when he talked to Jumin like they’d known each other for years.

Whatever it was, Jumin decided, he had to meet him again. He needed back his peace of mind the beautiful stranger had stolen from him.

It didn’t take long for him to come up with a plan. Assistant Kang protested it loudly, but Jumin simply launched a new cat-related project. Elizabeth could be the face of not only one product, but a family of cat products. It would benefit C&R in the long run, as well, Jumin was positive about that.

This time he told Assistant Kang to ask exclusively for V. The photoshoot would be held whenever V was free to come.

V didn’t let Jumin down. A week after their first meeting, another photoshoot of Elizabeth the 3rd was arranged.

An hour before the shoot, Jumin had a strange urge to tell everyone else to leave. He knew they needed all the assistants to ensure the quality one person couldn’t achieve, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he wanted to be alone with V.

Jumin thought he could observe his personality better without all the distractions. He needed this opportunity to solve the mystery.

He ended up not doing it. It would’ve been foolish. V was just a peculiar artist, there was nothing more to it.

Yet Jumin was captivated the moment he stepped into the room.

Upon entering, V looked around, searching for something. When his eyes landed on Jumin, his face lit up in a brilliant smile. He walked straight towards him, like there was no one else present after all.

Just like last time. Jumin felt like V wanted to get to know him, not as an employer but as a person. No one had made Jumin feel like that before.

People always wanted something from him. They were nice as long as they thought they could benefit from it. There was no such thing as relationships, just contracts.

Jumin had learned young not to trust people approaching him. You can only get something if you give something - that was how the world worked. Every smile had a price tag. Even his stepmothers wanted to talk to him only so they could keep good relations with his father. They weren’t interested in Jumin as a family member, as a person. It was natural for humans to have ulterior motives.

Jumin wondered about V’s motives. Maybe he was just playing nice and memorable in order to gain more work opportunities.

Somehow Jumin couldn’t make himself believe it. If it wasn’t for his beautiful colors and Jumin’s own interest, V would’ve been a person easily forgotten. He was earnest, but there was nothing fake in his gentle demeanor.

Jumin needed more clues. He wanted to know more about him.

After another successful shoot was wrapped up, Elizabeth the 3rd was purring on V’s lap and effectively stopping him from leaving. The staff was dissembling the set but V didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get up. His hand stroked Elizabeth’s gorgeous fur with slow motions.

Jumin grabbed a chair and sat next to the pair, watching them closely. He never allowed his princess out of his sight and now it gave him a perfect excuse to observe the man holding her, too.

“How long have you had her, Mr. Han?” V asked and raised his chin to look at Jumin.

Maybe he wanted to chit-chat just to fill the silence. Nevertheless, Jumin got the impression he was genuinely interested.

“Please, call me Jumin,” he said without thinking.

V chuckled and his eyes creased with mirth when he looked away.

“I will if you want to,” he said.

Jumin had expected him to refuse. He was his employer, after all. V didn’t fail to surprise him.

It was even harder to watch him leave that night.

In the end, meeting V the second time didn’t give Jumin back his peace of mind as he’d hoped.

On the contrary, he was even more preoccupied thinking about him. It didn’t leave him alone.

Jumin had told himself he didn’t need anyone else but Elizabeth in his life, so he couldn't understand why he wasn’t satisfied anymore. Why did he stay awake thinking about their short conversations and all the things he still wanted to say to V. It was getting ridiculous.

Others noticed it, too. His father asked what was on his mind when he’d fallen quiet in the middle of their dinner. Assistant Kang told him that if he was still thinking about that photographer he should just ask him out already.

Jumin needed not to be told twice.

Gracefully and efficiently like the true corporate heir, Jumin amplified his efforts and arranged yet another shoot with Elizabeth. There could never be too many good photos of her. Maybe Jumin should frame one of them in his living room.

The lady herself appeared pleased to see V again, as well.

When it was successfully wrapped up, Jumin approached V.

“Can I buy you dinner?”

“Is Friday okay?”

“My driver will pick you up at 9.”

Jumin thought long and hard. He’d made assistant Kang to make him a list of the best restaurants in the city, but the decision needed to be made with care. He didn’t want to seem too progressive right off the bat.

Things like these needed time and consideration. He wasn’t even sure what was his own goal exactly - he just wanted to meet up with him privately, outside of work. Maybe that would clear things up.

Finally, Jumin picked a restaurant for their excellent wine list. He pondered renting the whole place just for the two of them, but ended up buying it instead. That way it was easier.

Thursday night he went to check it out, ordered them to change their curtains and tablecloths to something that pleased his eye more and arranged a table for two by the window. A band would be too over the top, so Jumin hired a single violinist to play for the night. She was said to be famous throughout the country.

Friday came and despite telling himself it was nothing to stress over, Jumin was restless. At work, the smallest of mistakes irritated him more than usual. Many documents were sent back to be fixed that day, until word got around the office that Mr. Han shouldn’t be approached lightly at the moment.

Working overtime was more the norm than an exception in C&R, but tonight Jumin left his desk not a minute over.

He just wanted everything to be right. Nothing should go wrong if he could help it. He changed into a suit that had arrived straight from dry cleaning and driver Kim dropped him off to the restaurant half past eight.

While he waited, Jumin thought over every detail once more. Just to be sure. He ordered the wine ready, too, but resisted the urge to have a glass beforehand to calm his nerves.

Right on time, the waiter opened the double doors and V stepped in. He watched the place looking a bit taken aback. Maybe he wasn't used to Jumin's grandiose taste of environments.

Jumin stood up and strode across the floor to meet him. He noticed straight away that V was still wearing one of his shabby cardigans, which was a bit of a disappointment when Jumin had expected to see him in a suit. V would look bedazzling wearing a suit. But all thoughts of that vanished when he saw that smile again.

“Good evening, Jumin,” V said, then looked around once more. “This place is very charming, but… where’s everyone else?”

“I wanted to have some peace for our conversation,” Jumin answered. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

V shook his head.

“No, not at all. I was just surprised.”

The waiter escorted them to their table. He opened the bottle of wine and poured it for them after showing the etiquette to V and getting his approval. When he was gone V said,

“That’s a great vintage. It’s rare to encounter such a delight. Did you choose it yourself, Jumin?”

Jumin stopped in his tracks.

“I did. And I agree with your sentiment. Say, are you perhaps interested in wines?”

Not a minute into the date and they had discovered their shared love of good wine. Jumin was astounded; V turned out to be more irresistable the more he got to know him.

When their dishes arrived, V took a more serious look on his face. He straightened his back and asked,

“So, what did you want to talk about today?”

“Elaborate,” Jumin asked.

He didn’t remember saying he wanted to talk about a certain topic over dinner.

“I’m not very experienced when it comes to negotiation, but I’m sure we can work something out. My schedule is flexible,” V said.

He has a very sincere look on his eyes.

That was when Jumin realized it. V thought they were meeting in order to talk about business. V believed their date to be a business dinner.

All that planning. All that careful consideration of details to impress him was in vain. Jumin felt like he was slapped in the face. So V was here, not because he was mutually interested in spending time and got to know him, but because he was in a belief their meeting was an extension of work.

It took a moment for Jumin to gather his thoughts.

“I believe there has been a misunderstanding,” he said carefully. “I didn’t invite you for dinner to talk about work. I invited you as a person, not as a director of C&R.”

Jumin could see the exact moment his words sank in. V’s lips parted and his ears turned red. Jumin thought it was more embarrassing for him than to V. He should’ve been more clear with his intentions.

“Oh,” V said. “I’m… I’m sorry I misunderstood.”

“It’s my bad. If you value your time, you are free to leave. I don’t mind and I will naturally pay everything,” Jumin offered.

He’d hate to keep him here if he wasn’t interested.

“No, no,” V said quickly and waved a hand in front of his face. “I’m having a great time. I personally prefer it this way, as well.”

A slight blush had reached his cheeks. Jumin let his shoulders relax again.

It would’ve been very hard for him to let V go now. The pink coloring his face and the way his eyes wandered was compelling. The night had only started, too. Jumin wasn’t ready to let him go yet.

After that, the awkward tension between them melted away. V’s uptight body language loosened up and he didn’t try to be as formal anymore. The conversation flowed easily, without more mistranslations. Jumin was relieved to observe V starting to enjoy their time together.

Whatever he said, V was curious to hear more. He listened to him with genuine interest, not half-heartedly like Jumin’s stepmothers.

Jumin found V’s company calming and exciting at the same time. Calming in a sense that for the first time, he felt like he could be himself in front of someone else. Now that he knew V was there willingly, he let himself relax more and more.

It was refreshing. Jumin hadn’t known he could enjoy the company of another person this much. That was why it was exciting - V intrigued Jumin like no one before.

There was a lull in their conversation. When Jumin raised his eyes he saw V to be deep in thought. He was staring at the violinist Jumin had hired with a far away look in his eyes.

She'd been playing for a while now, but Jumin hardly noticed the music. His attention was elsewhere. V seemed to appreciate her, though. Finally he turned back to Jumin and lowered his eyes.

"My mother used to play violin before she had me," he said. "Sometimes I would watch videos from her concerts, but it's hard to recognize her as the same woman I knew."

Jumin didn't look away from his face. He felt like V had just told him something he didn't tell at most people. When he didn't continue, Jumin asked,

"And your father..?"

"He's in the art business, as you may know," V said.

Jumin indeed knew, but he wanted to hear it from V.

"He raised me alone."

Jumin sensed there was so much more to that story than what V let him on, but he left it at that. They weren't close enough to talk about families yet.

"I see your circumstances are fairly similar with mine," Jumin offered his consolation.

He had first-hand experience of growing up without a mother. V smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He nodded, that fact was not a secret.

"What school did you go to?" He suddenly asked.

Jumin answered, but he was a bit surprised. V told him he went to a sister school of Jumin's, situated not far from where he grew up. Next V wanted to know where he lived, what was the street like, and Jumin didn't mind answering.

He was surprised because those were the things people usually didn't ask from him. They just assumed he was homeschooled or that his life was so fundamentally different they could never relate. People never asked him things that could've brought up more similarities, instead they held onto their prejudices and kept Jumin behind the line of unreachable.

V wasn't afraid of getting to know him, even if he risked feeling mundane in the process.

Maybe that was because V wasn’t a mundane person himself. He was from a rich background just like Jumin and held a remarkable personality. He wasn't prone to compare himself to others and Jumin appreciated him for that. Even when he wasn't particularly confident and didn't carry himself with pride, he didn't try to hide his insecurities and flaws, instead embraced them as a part of him.

Jumin couldn't stand liars and fake smiles, so he was more than okay with that, though if you asked him, V had more reasons to be confident than he knew.

As they put together the puzzle of their childhood environments, they noticed a pattern that was more similar than different. They had lived on streets not far from each other and even gone to the same high school for a while. With a bit more luck they could've met.

They could've known each other all their lives, but somehow their paths never crossed before now.

It was an astounding experience to count all those years they could've spent together. In school, Jumin had been unable to connect with his peers so he had been mostly alone. What a difference it would have made to know this person then, who shared the same struggles as him.

When Jumin stared into V's sincere eyes he knew it would've made his world a different place. He felt like he'd found a person he should've found ages ago, and was now in a hurry to make up for all that lost time.

The rest of the evening they talked about anything and everything, without being awkward once. They found more similarities, but a lot of different tastes, too, and the more V told him, the more Jumin wanted to know. When it was time to leave, Jumin wouldn't let him go before he knew they would meet again.

"Can I have your number?" he asked, so he could give V a call and propose a time and a place.

"You already have it," V said, "it's in my business card."

"You don't have a personal phone?" Jumin raised his eyebrow, but V shook his head.

"I don't get so many inquiries I would need separate ones," he said.

Jumin wondered about that, but let it slide.

When Jumin stepped home that night and turned the lights on, for the first time in his life he felt lonely.

_After a while, I thought I'd never find you_  
_I convinced myself that I would never find you_  
_When suddenly I saw you_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _At first I thought you were a constellation_   
>  _I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation_

That date was the first of many. Jumin took into consideration V’s preference of casual environments, so next time they had a lunch date in a new, trendy café. Jumin couldn’t stand others getting in the way when they talked, so he ended up renting the whole place anyway.

V seemed to be delighted by the invitations and if the time wasn’t convenient for him, he immediately suggested something else. Though Jumin was the one setting up all their rendezvous, he didn’t complain. As long as V was happy to see him, he liked being in control of everything else.

One time when Jumin called to ask V out he refused, explaining he was busy for the week prior to an exhibition. He made it sound like a minor thing and apologized generously. Jumin had heard of it and knew V was putting himself down again - that art exhibition was one of the most anticipated events of the upcoming cultural celebration.

As the CEO-in-line of one of Korea's major companies, Jumin saw being knowledgeable about temporal culture was benefitting to him. Therefore he always attended cultural events in one way or another, mostly by being briefed of the subject in weekly reports. This time however, he had to see it live.

He didn't tell V. Art must never be explained, and Jumin found V's presence to be much too distracting for him to focus on the exhibition. He thought of it as an exploration; by being familiarized with V's art he would surely learn something about the artist, too.

The night before opening day, when everything was ready but not yet seen by the public, Jumin arranged a viewing for himself. He walked through the empty halls, contemplating deeply about every piece.

V had a lot of nature themes. The subjects of his photos were often things like trees or flowers, very mundane things. Before long Jumin grasped a feeling that the actual subject wasn't what was important, but the idea of the subject.

Like V wasn't trying to photograph a flower, but what it represented. Sense of something higher, a deeper meaning or a craving for deeper meaning was present in every photo he’d taken.

The theme of the exhibition was the sun. One could even say that V had an obsession with the sun, so much it was present in his pictures.

In some way V was always trying to capture the essence of the sun, in all of its forms. There was always light, his pictures were bright and beautiful, maybe that was what the masses loved about them.

The more Jumin circled inside the exhibition hall, the more he became convinced of one thing.

V's photos may portray light, but what he was actually chasing after was the warmth. No matter how bright a picture was, it could never emit warmth, and the halls' temperature was stale.

Jumin wondered if that was what V wanted to evoke in his audience, the imaginary feeling of warmth. What he himself yearned the most, what kept him pointing his camera towards the sun. That was the impression Jumin got.

The most interesting piece was situated in the middle of the building, in one big room with a black wall behind it. It was a piece never seen before by the public, and the promotional star of the exhibition. It was called _The Sunspot._

_The Sunspot_ was the only picture that had a dark presence. It was sucking light from around it rather than emitting, and the impression was wondrous. The print was massive, it took up the whole wall. 

In all of its glory the picture was simple: a blazing sun, photographed so close it was colored red and orange. The flames of solar flares lit up the darkness of space around it. On the surface of the sun darker spots could be seen, like burn marks on skin.

It looked like it was still moving and burning, but Jumin felt cold.

_The Sunspot_ was a mystery, the single dark photo amongst the rest. Jumin wondered its meaning. Even though it still pictured the sun, it stood out too much.

One other thing stood out to Jumin, too, though it was just his own jealousy talking.

In a couple of pieces, there was a woman.

Her face was never shown, but she had lustrous blonde hair flowing past her waist in loose curls. All the pictures of her were a couple of years old, she didn’t appear in any recent photos.

In the first picture she was sitting under a tree, looking away, while the sun shone through the branches over her. The other picture was shot up close, showing only half of her face and upper body. She wore a brilliant smile and the sunlight illuminated her white dress and delicate collarbones. She was beautiful.

It wouldn't have been a problem, but Jumin found it peculiar. She was the only human shown in any of the pictures. Maybe she was just a model. The photos were dated as well. Jumin chose not to think about it. It wasn't his business anyway.

The exhibition was the talk of the art circles for weeks. C&R had few contracts with art businesses, so Jumin wasn’t usually as up to date with the newest passions in the field, but V was an exception. In his free time he read any reviews and commentaries he could find. Most of them were superficial vanity, though there were some points of view that caught his interest.

One article in an independent publication had a column where the writer talked about her impressions relating to the sun theme. She called it love; the ever-shining light of the sun represented unconditional love.

Jumin didn’t know what love was, so he didn’t know what to make out of that interpretation. He wondered if that was what V wanted to say through his pictures. All artists poured their heart into their work, but not all made it their main theme.

Was the light V’s love he wanted to give to the world? An overwhelming amount, enough to fill up a gallery with photos, yet he didn’t have anything for himself. If that was true, the black spots on the surface of the sun must be his pain, the wounds he’d suffered while loving everyone else but himself.

Jumin decided that contemplating abstract meanings behind V’s art was a waste of time. He’d see much better results if he got to know V as a person. He’d find his answers in time.

Promptly Jumin picked out his phone and wrote him a message. It’d been too long since he’d last seen V, three weeks and five days.

This time, however, V failed to answer him. He always answered to Jumin’s messages the same day, typically one to three hours after he’d sent it. Jumin waited until midnight before he went to bed, leaving the sound on in his phone. He received no new messages during the night and had to go to work with the seemingly small thing bugging him unduly much.

At 4.28 p.m. his phone notified him of a new message. Jumin dropped whatever document he was reading and hurried to open it.

_“I’m sorry.”_

No explanation, no suggestion for another time, just an apology. Jumin decided V must be in a hurry today. Without letting his thoughts read too much into it, he wrote another message asking him to name a date that fitted his schedule better. After a couple minutes of waiting came a reply that raised his suspicions more than soothed them.

_“I don’t know.”_

Three words. Jumin swiped V’s phone number on the screen but caught himself before calling him.

It wasn’t typical but it wasn’t something to freak over, either. He needed to be patient and just wait a bit more.

The wait was rewarded when a moment later, V messaged him suggesting a date. He always moved the date to the next possible time he was free from work, which wasn’t more than two or three days later.

Now he wanted their date to be postponed for a week. Atypical, but again, nothing to worry about.

Jumin had a habit of analyzing patterns but he had to keep in mind that people change, as well as situations. He could ask about it when he saw V if he still thought it was necessary.

The agonizingly long week came to an end and Jumin waited for V in front of a restaurant. He listened to the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground, standing under a shelter with an umbrella ready. When the car he’d sent out for V arrived, he opened the umbrella and stepped in the rain. V pushed the car door open and Jumin held the umbrella for him.

Somewhere along the line V had picked up Jumin’s choices were always fancy places and started to dress the part. He’d yet to show up in a suit but the white blazer he had on was a lot better than a cardigan.

Jumin took one look at him and admired how the piece fitted him on the shoulders, along with the perfect cuff length. But when V straightened his back and smiled at him, Jumin instantly noticed something that didn’t fit the picture.

It was even more obvious when they walked in and the warm light indoors hit V’s face. The corner of his eye was discolored with nasty green and yellow shades. It looked like the aftermath of a black eye, when most of the bruise had healed.

Jumin decided to wait until they’d seated and ordered before making any inquiries. He took a sip of the wine prepared for them and glanced at V over the edge of the glass.

It was regrettable. The bruise was an aberration on V’s otherwise perfect visage, a stain ruining a beautiful canvas. When Jumin asked about it, V sounded like he’d been waiting for it to come up.

“This? Oh, it was just a little accident. Hit my head at the corner of a mirror cabinet in my bathroom. Kind of embarrassing, isn’t it?”

That didn’t seem plausible at all, but Jumin dropped the interrogation.

They spent their evening tasting new wines Jumin had gotten a hold of. As the hours passed by, Jumin became increasingly intoxicated, not by the alcohol but by the warmth they shared.

Spending time with V felt natural. It felt just right. Jumin had never enjoyed someone’s company like this. V felt the same, judging by the blush coloring his cheekbones and the happy, relaxed smiles he was giving him.

Everything about him was so beautiful in Jumin’s eyes. He couldn’t get enough, not of his soothing presence nor his enigmatic soul. It was getting dangerous when the feelings of possessiveness, the need to keep him by his side surged, leaving Jumin restless.

He could conseal it, but he couldn’t control it. It was a hard task to stay calm, but Jumin persevered. This was not the time to act hasty.

The night ended with V's arm around Jumin’s neck. Jumin had called him a taxi, but V was unsteady on his feet. Not drunk per se, but a little tipsy, and more touchy-feely than usual. Jumin let his hand rest on the small of V’s back for support when they walked outside.

It wasn’t raining anymore and the night sky was deep blue with a few stars.

“I wish this night would never end,” V said.

He released his hold around Jumin's neck and got into the taxi.

For a split second, Jumin thought of throwing reason out of the window and climbing in after him.

They'd share the intimate space of a backseat together. Jumin would take V’s hand and hold it, he’d whisper sweet things into his ear and V would be his. They’d forget about going home and tell the driver to take them to the nearest hotel. Jumin would choose the most luxurious suite and order the staff not to let anyone disrupt them before morning.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to wait until they got to the room, he’d push V against the wall the moment the elevator doors closed. Jumin thought of kissing him, of wrenching that nice blazer off of him and getting his hands on the buttons of his dress shirt.

He thought of undressing V on a large hotel bed. V would melt in his hands and light a fire in him with his smiles and endearing words. He would let him do whatever he wanted to him.

“Good night, Jumin,” V said before the car door was slammed shut.

The taxi rolled away, its back lights disappearing into the night.

Jumin stood motionless, watching after it for a long moment before heading back inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _You're as beautiful as endless_   
>  _You're the universe I'm helpless in_

During the next few weeks, Jumin found it increasingly hard to get into contact with V. Where they’d met every other week before, now it was hard to find a date to see him once a month. Jumin assumed V was busy with work, though he never confirmed it. It was curious, because the exhibition had ended and there weren’t any others V was attending to as far as Jumin was aware.

There was nothing else to do but wait. Jumin had set his trust on V, so he fought back his tangled thoughts of frustration and suspicion. V had a good reason for whatever he did, though Jumin didn’t know what it was.

What got him through the lonely days was the memory of V’s smile. Memory of the sound of the words he’d whispered, the sincere wish of longing to be with him. How his body had felt when it was pressed against Jumin’s side, the warmth of his hands that clung on to him.

V was shy. Jumin needed to give him time. Even if the feeling was mutual, he couldn’t go too fast too sudden. Jumin knew V longed to be with him just as badly but was held back by his responsibilities. Jumin had his own, too. In any situation, the reality couldn’t be denied.

It seemed that V was unable to join him for lunch, at least his replies to Jumin’s messages indicated that. So Jumin adjusted the time to be later in the day, but V was still hesitating. Jumin gave it some thought and decided to raise the stakes. If V agreed, it would be a clear signal he was serious as well.

Jumin invited V into his own house late in the evening.

It was irrelevant to worry about the result beforehand. His anticipation or nervousness wouldn’t affect V’s answer, so Jumin went on with his life as normal.

Yet it’d be a lie to say that the affirmative message he got twelve hours later didn’t come as a relief. Jumin hadn’t even realized how much that answer meant to him before he felt a heavy weight being lifted off of his heart.

So V said yes to him. He’d be coming to Jumin’s place soon. Jumin couldn’t wait to see him again.

It’d been too long. He had dozens of things he wanted to say to him and do with him, but he didn’t know what was appropriate yet. That called for profound deliberation. He had a few days to prepare and make sure everything was perfect.

At last, the much awaited day arrived. Jumin couldn’t sit still when ten o’clock drew near, so he moved downstairs to wait by the main doors. His apartment building had a waiting lounge on the ground-floor with a private bistro. The waiter asked if he wanted something to drink but Jumin refused.

V was late. The bistro was slowly swarming with people, their chatting and laughing filling up the space. Jumin was sitting on the corner table, glancing at his phone. The waiter had brought him a small espresso, on the house, because it was chilly near the front doors. Jumin didn’t even notice.

He wished V would let him know if he had to call off the date. That wouldn’t have been a problem, but leaving him hanging was. He calculated how long he should wait before giving V a call. Every time the doors slid open it was another rich couple with smiles on their faces, but V was nowhere to be seen.

Forty-six minutes past ten Jumin stood up and walked on the lobby. He glanced at his wristwatch and sighed. A small group of people in a festive mood passed by him, letting cold air in when they exited. Jumin turned his back to them and walked towards the elevator.

“Jumin!”

He spun around. A lone man had slipped in before the doors closed again. V walked briskly towards him, panting.

“I’m so sorry. Something came up. I wanted to be in time, but…”

V was wearing a winter jacket wide open and the cold air had dusted his nose and cheeks red. Underneath he had the same grey cardigan he’d had when they first met.

He’d appeared so suddenly in front of him, Jumin had to blink to make sure he was really there.

“There’s nothing you can do,” Jumin said. “It’s alright. Let’s go inside.”

He escorted V to the elevator. Jumin could feel people’s gazes from the bistro, he knew how curious they were about his private life. Something inside of him told him to take V away from their eyes as soon as possible. He was there for Jumin alone. No one else needed to see him.

When the elevator doors slid shut, Jumin let out a sigh. The familiar feeling of moving upwards began and his eyes drifted back to V. He was rubbing his fingers inside his palms, his hands must be cold.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get to change my clothes,” V said.

His eyes were lowered, he raised his hand and pushed a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

The gesture drew Jumin’s gaze in like a magnet. V’s hair had gotten longer. After not seeing him for weeks, Jumin could easily tell the difference. Before, V maintained his cut dutifully, now it was long due. Jumin couldn’t stand sloppiness but he had to admit the look adorned V’s beautiful face. The black eye had healed completely, as well. There wasn’t a sign it had ever been there.

“You can lend something mine,” Jumin said. “I think they’d fit well enough.”

He squared his arms to touch V’s shoulders, who was standing in front of him. His shoulder measurement wasn’t that different from Jumin’s. They were almost as tall, too, V being approximately an inch taller.

V chuckled. “What an honor.”

There it was. V’s eyes creased with mirth, his smile reflected such fondness it filled the entire space with warmth. It was just as wonderful as in Jumin’s memories. V had only arrived, but Jumin was already dreading for the moment he’d have to let him go.

Jumin tapped his pin code in and opened the door for V. The automatic lights turned on, adding to the lights that had been left on for Elizabeth the 3rd. The lady herself ventured to the door after hearing them entering. She made an excited “mrrrp” sound upon recognizing V and dashed to his feet, meowing for attention. Jumin was slightly jealous, he never got such an excited welcome when he returned home.

He couldn’t blame her, though, when he was just as enamored with V as she was.

V was careful not to step on the cat when he put his jacket away. He chuckled when Elizabeth circled his ankles and got fur all over his trouser legs.

“Who’s taught you to be so impatient? Has Jumin been spoiling you again, Elizabeth?” V asked when he picked her up in his arms.

“It’s what she deserves,” Jumin answered before he realized V was teasing him.

He followed after V to the living room. V stood there looking around, being in the apartment for the first time.

Jumin was generally reluctant in letting anyone into his home. Only his father and assistant Kang didn’t cause him to raise his guard. Even then he wanted them out when they’d carried out their business with him.

V, on the other hand… He looked like he belonged in the picture. The shabby cardigan included, with Elizabeth the 3rd in his arms, he looked like he was home. Jumin wished he’d get to return every night to this sight. He wanted him to stay.

It’d become dark out, V’s reflection was pictured on the surface of the huge window in the living room. Jumin watched his face on it and walked to stand by him.

“The view is beautiful,” V said.

The city underneath, with its sea of light sparkling in the darkness was so familiar to Jumin he rarely thought about it. He didn’t care, out of all of those lights and the stars in the sky, for him, it was V who shone the brightest.

“It is,” Jumin said, without looking away from V’s face.

It was a mystery to Jumin, how he’d been able to change like this. He’d told himself he didn’t need anyone, he was fine on his own. But V had invaded his mind with endless thoughts and feelings, unarmed Jumin with just one look. He was defenseless against that smile, it made him feel things he couldn’t quite identify yet.

He wanted to abandon his solitude and take V in, give him everything he had.

Even when it made him vulnerable it was fine, since it was V. V was a person in touch with his soul. Jumin believed if someone could untangle the threads burdening his heart, it was him. Just being with him made Jumin feel calm and accepted.

In the end V didn’t lend his clothes. Jumin had played with the idea of dressing him up in a suit, maybe in that one he’d gotten as a gift but never wore. When he’d brought it up, V had laughed, abashed. He’d thought it was a joke.

It didn’t matter. Jumin enjoyed the view V’s loose-collared shirt offered from across the table. He’d learned to appreciate V’s casual style as a part of his personality.

They’d opened a bottle of wine, one of the old ones Jumin had kept for special occasions. This was the most special occasion he could think of.

Jumin wanted to tell V what he felt towards him, about all the thoughts that kept him up at night. He wanted to tell V what he was thinking about when he was finally there with him again. Jumin wanted to hear V’s thoughts as well, what he felt, did he still wish the night would last forever.

Jumin could make it last forever, if that was what he wanted.

The truth was, Jumin had wanted to kiss V the moment he saw him appear in front of him. It was taking all of his willpower not to get up and do it right now, but he had to be patient.

Everything has its time, the right moment would come soon. Meanwhile, he enjoyed the wine and the conversation.

“So, what have you been up to these days? You seem busy,” Jumin said.

He was curious to know what had changed.

“Nothing much,” V answered vaguely. “It’s just… hectic. I haven’t been really connected with myself lately.”

Jumin carefully inspected the look on his face, hoping to understand what he meant behind those mysterious words.

V looked… tired. The color hadn’t returned to his hands even though they’d been inside for a while now.

“Oh, but I think it’s all coming together, so there’s no need for you to worry,” V corrected quickly, like to take back what he’d said. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” Jumin said.

He wanted to believe V’s words. Jumin didn’t like seeing him troubled, so it was good news if the stressful part of his life was about to pass.

“You know you can always talk to me. If ever comes a time when you need help or even just someone to listen, please consider giving me a call. I’d be happy to assist,” he said.

V looked Jumin in the eyes when he answered.

“Thank you, Jumin. I’ll keep it in mind.”

The smile on his face was tender despite the tiredness. Jumin couldn’t say he understood everything V said, but it was simply because of how different their minds were.

Where Jumin was meticulous and analytical, V was patient and able to see not only with his eyes, but with his heart. Jumin had thought he was unpredictable at first, when he didn’t follow any conventional set of rules, but now he knew he could understand if he just listened to him.

He wanted to learn V inside and out, so he’d be able to see the world as the beautiful place it was through his eyes.

This was the first time Jumin was ready to go to such great lengths for someone. He’d never possessed deep interest in other people’s lives, or sharing his own. But if it was V, he wasn’t afraid of letting him come close.

Hours went by without either of them noticing. They got caught in their own world, when they talked like they’d known each other their whole lives.

There was something intimate to have V share a table with him in his own home at night. Time lost its meaning when the cozy darkness protected their secrets from the outside world.

Jumin felt like a schoolboy again, having a sleepover with his best friend he’d never had. Or, more accurately, having his crush come over and feeling the rush of foolish, inexperienced, passionate love. He was leaning towards V on the table unintentionally, but it didn’t matter because V did the same.

There were only so many nights like this, when V was laughing at everything Jumin said and looking at him like he was the only person in the world. Empty bottles lay on the table, the wine was getting to Jumin; he felt relaxed, warmth settled in his bones.

He’d forgotten to stare at V when he picked up his phone and checked the time.

“It’s so late. How does this happen every time?” V sighed. “I’d love to stay but I think I should consider going home sometime soon.”

He stood up and stretched his arms above his head, then staggered when the sudden movement made him dizzy. V laughed at his own unsteadiness and shook his head lightly.

Jumin rose as well and circled the table to meet him halfway. V didn't shake him off when he put his hands gently on his waist.

Jumin stepped in to close the distance between them and V stepped back to maintain some personal space. Like that, Jumin chased him until his shoulder blades were against the wall and he could move no further. V’s hands found their natural place on Jumin's shoulders.

"You're drunk, Jumin," V said.

There was that mischievous spark in his eyes when he was teasing him. All of Jumin’s senses were fixed on V, to witness the breathtaking phenomena he was.

The strands of hair behind his ear. The blush across his face, high on his cheekbones. The pale color of his keen, enigmatic eyes.

V smiled happily and leaned his head on the wall, calmly gazing back at Jumin. Jumin wondered how he looked through those eyes.

This feeling was new. V was arousing so many new emotions and behaviours in Jumin it should’ve been alarming, but he was just eager to know more. His thumbs were rubbing circles on V's waist, he wanted to stretch this moment, to remember it forever. V was radiating a sweet, welcoming aura and Jumin wanted to embrace him, to give him everything.

He leaned in and kissed V.

V's lips were soft and his breathing hot when he opened his mouth in a small gasp.

The hands on Jumin’s shoulders grabbed a hold of his suit and shoved him back.

"Wha- what are you doing, Jumin?" V asked, eyes wide with shock.

Jumin blinked. A heavy feeling took over his heart, cold matter rushing in his veins.

"What do you mean," he asked.

The relaxed happiness was gone from V's face, he looked panicked when he scrambled to find words.

"I- I didn’t think- I thought we were friends," he gasped.

Jumin couldn't believe what he was hearing. He took a step closer and V raised his hands in front of himself.

"Are you being serious with me right now?" Jumin asked, his voice dark. "After all that’s been said and done-?"

"I have a fiancée!" V cried out.

His hand lunged inside his shirt. He grabbed his necklace and pulled it out, revealing a ring hanging at the end of it.

A rush of ice got Jumin paralyzed. He stared at the cursed little thing on V's hand. He couldn’t believe it. Every moment he’d shared with V he’d had that thing on him. All this time, he’d belonged to someone else.

Jumin took his hands away. He stepped back and V slipped away from him.

"I need to go," V said.

The look in his eyes was so desperate, Jumin couldn't tell what he was feeling. He could only feel his own dread and the growing nausea in the pit of his stomach.

V headed to the door and pulled his jacket on. Jumin could only watch as he made his leave.

"Why didn’t you tell me," the words escaped Jumin's lips, the question that burned in the back of his throat.

"Why didn't you ask," V cried.

He straightened his back after tying his shoes and stared at him. Before anything else could be said, V turned his back to Jumin and grabbed the door handle.

On the open door, V hesitated. He turned to glance at him over his shoulder one last time.

"Good night, Jumin," he whispered.

Then he was gone, the click on the door being shut echoing after him.

There was a part of Jumin that V took with him. His heart followed him to the elevator and down on the street, wherever he went. Jumin stood there, unable to react. He wanted to leap and run after V, grab him and stop him from leaving. He couldn't let him go like this.

He couldn't let it end like this.

Jumin staggered back at the table and crashed on the chair. He downed the rest of the wine at the bottom of the glass in one go, then pulled out his phone. He typed tediously into the search panel, correcting misspelling as he went.

"V Jihyun Kim fiancée"

There was one result.

An article dated two years back. It was about the famous photographer's donation to an orphanage. In the press photo, a handsome younger V was smiling in front of a building, a girl next to him.

She was beautiful like the sun, with gorgeous blonde hair flowing to her hips. She was the same girl as in V's photographs in the exhibition.

The caption only said "V and his fiancée, miss Rika."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _An astronomer at my best_   
>  _When I throw away the measurements_

Jumin woke up with a massive headache. Ignoring it, he followed his usual morning routine to perfection. A hollow feeling persisted from last night until he picked up his phone on his desk and saw messages waiting. He opened them with his heart thumping in his chest.

V had texted him a few hours after he left.

Whatever depressed thoughts had tormented Jumin were now forgotten. V had texted him first, and from the preview it didn't look like it was to say goodbye.

_"I'm sorry about last night,”_ he wrote.

_“I didn't want to leave like that. I acted hastily and I want to apologize to you._

_Please know that I'm not offended about your, um, confession. I see now how rude I've been and I take full responsibility for that. I misunderstood you like a fool, even though you were so straightforward with your intentions from the beginning. It's entirely my fault._

_I understand that I left room for misinterpretation and I’m sorry. I feel like I led you on when I didn't mean to - I hope you believe me._

_I admit that I gave you mixed signals. It was unfair of me. Can you forgive me?"_

Jumin was quite perplexed about the content of the message. He thought it was him who should apologize for jumping to conclusions. He didn't understand why V blamed himself.

He pondered how to answer. The situation was new and Jumin wasn't sure how he should proceed. Maybe it was selfish, but he didn't want to let go of V. Jumin thought he had to be uncomfortable despite insisting he didn't mind, but Jumin wasn't going to leave him alone this easily.

One line in particular caught his interest. He carefully typed a message back.

_"What do you mean by admitting you were giving mixed signals? Are you saying you treated me differently from your other friends?"_

The reply came in a heartbeat. Jumin hadn’t thought V would be waiting.

_"I've never had a friend like you… Jumin."_

Jumin put his phone down for a moment. V had a way to take him by surprise every time. It really was unfair. It left Jumin in an awkward spot, he had no idea what he should think or say about that.

_"I regret hurting you,”_ V continued. _“If I could take that back, I would do everything differently."_

Astonished, Jumin watched the messages pouring in.

_“I could never turn you away. I think highly of you, Jumin. You’re my most precious friend._

_I don’t know what to say or what you want to hear. I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you and I’m still like this. I know it’s too much to ask for forgiveness but I can’t bear the thought of losing you._

_Please don’t leave me, Jumin.”_

Jumin stared at the screen with a frown. Of course he had no plans to let V go, but he thought it should've been him pleading. He was the one who'd stepped over the line and drove V away.

He hadn’t known V felt this way. Between the lines he could feel his desperation and self-loathing and it only fed the flames. He’d never abandon V as long as he lived. If Jumin knew where he was right now, he’d drive right there and tell it to his face.

He’d protect V at all cost. As a friend or something more, he didn’t care. It was okay as long as V let him stand by his side and make sure nothing ever hurt him.

He knew V was waiting anxiously for his answer, so he wasted no time and wrote,

_“I’ll never leave you.”_

After thinking for a moment, he added,

_“Don’t worry about giving me an answer. I apologize as well, for putting you in a difficult situation. There’s no hard feelings on my part, my priority is always your best interest._

_I hope you can still be at ease in my presence. When would be a good time to see you again?”_

It was a good conversation and it helped ease Jumin's nerves, but what he didn't know was that it would be the last one.

V stopped contacting Jumin entirely. He answered messages occasionally, the rule shifting from a few hours to several days. Indirectly, he made it clear he couldn't meet Jumin.

Talking on the phone was impossible as well. V never picked up no matter how many times Jumin tried to call. The excuses he gave were lousy.

_"The signal is weak,"_   
_"I'm not in a place I can talk,"_   
_"I'm busy."_

Jumin gathered V didn't want to lie to him and when he was grateful for that, he was frustrated, too.

In a fleeting moment Jumin seriously pondered if V was disgusted with his advances after all. If he didn't know better he would've thought V was creating distance between them and avoiding him on purpose.

But that would imply V had lied about Jumin being an important friend to him, and Jumin refused to doubt his honesty.

Something was seriously off. V had disappeared in the eyes of the media, as well. He didn't have any more exhibitions but he didn't participate in auctions or freelancer gigs either. He hadn't been seen in the business circles in months.

Two possible explanations came into Jumin's mind. He discarded both of them quickly. If V wanted to take a creative break and have some down time, he would've announced that. An artist's burnout wasn't a taboo anymore. Similarly, if V was considering changing careers, he had no reason to do it secretly like this.

Now it looked like V just wanted to disappear as quietly as possible. Like he'd never been there. The thought upset Jumin, because he knew if that was the case, he was powerless to stop him. He couldn't even figure out what V was doing nowadays.

V's traces had already grown cold.

The winter rolled in with vigor, shaking Korea with a huge snowfall that created chaos for weeks. Jumin buried himself into his work. He'd given up trying to set up a chance to meet V. Now it was enough to hear of him every now and then, just to keep alive whatever warmth he had left.

Jumin would just wait for the cold season to pass. Whatever struggles V had going on in his life, he'd come around when he was ready. He had to.

Jumin worked long hours, multiple projects at the same time, just to keep unwanted thoughts from his mind. It didn't help that whatever new cat business he launched they usually required a logo, which called for a photoshoot with Elizabeth the 3rd. In the end, Rui got the job.

It wasn't the wait that was taking its toll on Jumin, it was the uncertainty. He disliked having to guess things, to be denied the facts. He only wanted to see V's face for one more time. If he could take a look at his face, it would tell him everything he needed to know.

Jumin's life consisted of clear rules and routines. He'd worked with them since he was a child, creating his success with his own hands. He took pride in his ability to be disciplined and not to waste his time on useless emotions.

How it was possible that one person could ruin it all?

How it was possible that after he'd once taken interest, he could never forget him again?

If V wasn't interested, Jumin couldn't force him. He would gracefully accept his loss and move on. But this? This uncertainty, these memories, the warmth he was longing for daily and nightly? It was driving him crazy.

And yet there was nothing he could do but wait and hope for a miracle.

The miracle came in the form of another dull business party Jumin was required to attend to.

He'd long ago lost interest in socializing with other people, but couldn't deny the importance of it when it came to good business deals. So as a true corporate heir, he wore his best polite smile and chatted with the ladies from Cultured Citizens association. Women were actually the easiest ones, they didn't need much genuine interaction and were happy with just a few lines Jumin had memorized from the Expert Playboy volume 3.

Familiar faces from art circles were attending as well. Being one of the biggest business parties, the event was attracting even the big names such as senior Mr. Kim, V's father. Jumin had exchanged a few words with him earlier, as a basic courtesy. C&R had deals with his business, after all.

It was a shame there were no wines offered, only champagne. Jumin got a break from talking to corporate CEOs and noticed a familiar photographer on the other side of the room. He wandered over and greeted Rui.

"How's your night been so far? I think the drink selection is a bit disappointing," Jumin said, referencing the glass he had at hand.

"Oh, I knew you'd say that," Rui smiled. "It sure has room for improvement. A bit surprising, considering the amount of high-class people attending."

"I don't know about class, but the number of people is impressive," Jumin nodded. They had moved next to a wall and were watching the crowd.

"I agree. Oh, did you greet V already? Mr. Kim must have used some serious persuasion to get his son to attend, you know how V hates business parties," Rui said and chuckled.

Jumin's heart skipped a beat.

"No," he said hastily. "Where is he? Did you see him?"

"In the innermost room. Knowing him, he's still sulking there," Rui said. "Did you-"

"Thank you," Jumin interrupted and pushed his glass into Rui’s hands. "Let's talk some other time."

Then he was on his way, steering through the crowd towards the other party halls. He walked briskly and avoided making eye contact with anyone so he wouldn't have to stop to greet them. Away from the main halls were a few smaller rooms that offered some peace for discussions.

Jumin didn’t waste time to check the other rooms and headed straight to the last one. It was a spacious room with a piano and several paintings hanging on the walls. People had gathered into small groups and polite chatter filled the air. Jumin’s eyes scanned the crowd in one glance.

There. Standing by the other door, Jumin spotted a familiar mint-colored head. He strided across the room towards V, barely refraining from running.

V was staring at the ground, his fingers fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve. He was wearing a white suit and he was so gorgeous Jumin forgot how to breathe.

“V-” he called out and V snapped his head up.

He stared at Jumin with wide eyes. Then he turned around and made an attempt towards the door.

Jumin was faster. He caught up and grabbed V by his forearm.

“V! Where are you going-?” Jumin asked but released his grip when V let out a hiss of pain.

“Jumin,” V said, avoiding his eyes. He brought his arms close to his body. “You surprised me.”

All of the countless imaginations Jumin had had of their meeting were gone. None of the lines he’d thought he’d say were appropriate. He snatched V’s hand and turned around, dragging him along.

“Jumin, please,” V pleaded but couldn’t yank his hand back from Jumin’s iron grip. “You’re causing a scene.”

Jumin couldn’t care less if he was causing a scene. He took V out of the door and deeper into the building. Only around the corner he slowed down and stopped, when the hallway was empty and no other people could be heard.

With one hand Jumin grabbed V’s shoulder and pinned him against the wall. V looked startled when he leaned closer. 

“Roll up your sleeve,” he commanded.

V opened his mouth to argue but then just sighed.

“It’s nothing,” he said, quiet.

It hadn’t been apparent from far but now that he was up close Jumin could see the dark circles under V’s eyes. His skin looked dull and he was pale, more so than normally. V had still not cut his hair. It had gotten so long he’d combed it into a small ponytail.

After suppressing them so long, Jumin found all of his previous urges coming back like a tide wave rushing in. He wanted to pluck out the elastic band and run his hands through V’s silky hair, he wanted to cup his face with his hands and kiss him until he was out of breath. He wanted so many things at once it was torture to try to keep his composure.

“If it’s nothing, you can show me,” Jumin said between his teeth.

V squeezed his hand into a fist but didn’t stop him when Jumin took a hold of it and popped out the cufflink. White gauze appeared underneath when he rolled up the sleeve to expose V’s wrist.

“What happened?” Jumin asked.

He knew what the answer was going to be before the words had left his lips.

“It was an accident,” V said, lowering his eyes.

Jumin’s hands moved past his wrist and grabbed him near the elbow. V twitched in pain.

Jumin couldn’t believe it. V tried to keep his other arm away but Jumin caught him and saw him grimace when his fingers pressed down.

“What kind of an accident,” Jumin began, his words strained with thinly veiled emotions, “leaves you scathed on both of your forearms?”

V was silent. His eyes were wandering like he was racking his brain to come up with something, but in the end, he left the question unanswered.

Jumin was standing in front of him, blocking his way. He’d unconsciously leaned close, too close, but V wasn’t intimidated. He raised his eyes and returned Jumin’s gaze. There was weariness in him that hadn’t been there before, and sadness buried deep inside his pale eyes. Jumin inhaled, and exhaled slowly, calming himself down.

“Does it have something to do with miss Rika?” he asked.

V flinched. He glanced at Jumin, shocked, then slowly shook his head.

"No," he said. "No… She'd never hurt me." 

His collared shirt didn’t reveal if he was wearing the necklace underneath, but just imagining it made Jumin furious. He felt helpless, torn with the knowledge he couldn’t have what he wanted. Someone else owned V, and the thought of her hands all over him drove Jumin crazy.

He’d sworn he was okay with only being friends, but seeing him in this condition pushed him dangerously close to overstepping that line. Jumin couldn’t stand watching from the sidelines when V was hurt. He wanted access, he wanted power over V so he could take the matter into his own hands and ensure he was well taken care of.

“Then what are these wounds?” Jumin pressed.

He didn’t mean to interrogate him, but the questions kept coming and he couldn’t stop it.

V let out a sigh and it was slightly wavering. He placed his hands on Jumin’s shoulders to reassure him. His gentle touch only made it harder for Jumin to bear.

“I already told you it was an accident,” he said firmly. “You don't have to worry about me. And when it comes to Rika… That's none of your business, now is it?”

“It's not," Jumin spat out, bitter. "But none of this makes sense. I'm concerned. I just want to know that she's good to you.”

Their faces were so close he could study every detail of V’s face. His words were betrayed by the tired lines under his eyes, the lack of color on his cracked lips.

“She is,” V said. “I…”

Jumin thought he was going to say “I love her,” but V never finished his sentence.

“I have to go back to the party,” V said instead. "And so do you.”

“When will I see you again?” Jumin asked.

He picked up V’s hands from his shoulders, bringing them down. Their fingers intertwined naturally, and Jumin had never found a sensation as satisfying.

V’s expression darkened.

"I'm sorry," he said, followed with, “I don't know.”

Jumin couldn’t say anything. He stared at their clasped hands and squeezed him tighter.

"I'll contact you. I promise I will, Jumin,” V whispered.

His eyes were pleading and his voice wavered. The way he held onto Jumin's hands felt so sincere that some of the tight knots in Jumin's chest easened up. He was still reluctant to let go.

"Then I'll wait."

There was nothing else he could do.

V took his hands back. He fixed his sleeves and took a deep breath. Jumin watched him slick his hair back though no strands had escaped. 

No matter how desperately he wanted, he couldn't come up with reasons to stop him. Despite V's words Jumin had a heavy feeling in his bones that told him if he let V slip away now, he'd never see him again.

In the end Jumin couldn't do anything but to follow him back to the party hall. He stared at V's back when he entered, shoulders leveled. Nothing indicated that anything was happening behind the scenes at all.

Almost immediately they were approached. Jumin kept close when V was talking to a journalist but soon an investor of C&R came up to him. The conversation occupied him and when he glanced up, V was walking away.

He moved calmly through the sea of people, nodding to acquintances as he went. No one paid much attention but Jumin saw he was going straight for the exit.

Fear struck him. A strong urge to sprint after V consumed him, even though he knew it was impossible. His logic told him to act reasonably, but his conflicted emotions agonized him. With a sinking feeling he watched the mint-colored head getting farther away.

The conversation called for him and Jumin carried on effortlessly. For a moment his eyes glanced to the distance but the figure had disappeared from the crowd.

In that moment, surrounded by people, Jumin felt the loneliest he'd ever been.

After coming back home that night he opened a wine bottle. The apartment was quiet, Jumin sat by the table and stared at his phone. The screen stayed dark. No new messages.

He already knew it was going to happen. He mentally prepared himself for another stretch of uncertainty. The thought alone was hard to endure. For a moment he even entertained a thought of hiring a private eye to figure out what was going on, but decided against it. He had to trust V.

The weeks went by, time moving as slow as ever. The nights alone were endless, hours passing by in a daze. Jumin stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

He never received an answer anymore. He didn't know if V was reading his messages, but his number was still working. Despite the silence Jumin sent a few words every once in a while, to reassure V he was still waiting.

Sometimes when he got drunk late in the evening, he would send him a lot more daring texts, things he wouldn't say otherwise.

_"I'm thinking of you. I wonder what you are doing. I wonder who's lucky enough to enjoy your company."_

_"I wish you were here with me. The wine tastes better when we’re together. I have so many things to tell you.”_

_"Elizabeth the 3rd misses you. You should come see her more often."_

_"I wonder where you are."_

_“I want to see you.”_

_"I miss you."_

It had been 47 days since the fundraiser party. Jumin woke up at 6:00 sharp like every morning with a slight hangover after drinking the previous night. He brushed his teeth, dressed up on a freshly dry washed suit and went to work.

The first thing he did every morning on his desk was to check his messages. Assistant Kang would gather him the day's schedule in bullet points so it was easy to start working. But before that he'd always check for V.

Underneath his last 3-worded text that made him regret drinking was a reply. Jumin’s breath caught in his throat when he read it.

_“I'd like to photograph you._

_Come to my studio at 11 pm Thursday night. I'm afraid that's the only date I have._

_I really hope you can make it._

_V”_


End file.
